HANG UP, NO, YOU HANG UP

PC: lexonart

A couple of nights back as I curled up to sleep; during the stasis where you just lie there and your thoughts wander about in recollection of a mortifying experience from 5 years ago and cringe or a perfect line that could’ve come in handy amidst a tiff you lost or pondering on why that guy/lass from school/work doesn’t notice you – they do, but the fact that you incessantly call bus stops ‘stenje’ would ward off any pursuer. That night i lay reminiscing about a Friends episode; the one where Phoebe convinces Ross that Rachel is his ‘lobster’, that lobsters mate and grow old together – let’s say age together because growing old seems too wrinkled. I mulled over the lobster analogy juxtaposing it to me, my friends’ and other people’s barely successful romantic pursuits. I reflected on whether we are deemed to find our lobsters or mould them up or just yank someone else’s lobster or maybe accepting the fact that our lobsters have been eaten by some uncanny tourist obsessed with crustaceans. What is the divergence between us and the rest? Where do we fall short? Are we doing it wrong? Do we not put necessary effort into our appearance or rather are we preoccupied chasing protracted cooking deals that never bear fruit, perhaps? Deal inaivana?


Full disclosure; I have never had my name written anywhere, not in an attendance book, not in a card, not in someone’s heart, not even in an OB for that matter – never been cuffed by a lover or a cop. Suffice it to say if you see, smell, touch or hear my name in close proximity to another name, preferably a female one, it wasn’t me and if it is me, I had been kidnapped. I have seen names carved on tree barks – for instance ‘John and Liz’. I don’t know why I settled on those names but they do sound like names that carry penchance for that kind of thing, right? Their names immortalized, etched on barks which are left to bear the brunt of passionate lovers. The trees probably realizing they got a raw deal, maybe that’s why swings snap when tied on their branches, think about it. I have seen names on restaurant chalk boards. Of lovers who hold the conviction ‘the way to a heart is through the stomach’. You played the wild card and got a tattoo of their name? Good for you and your lobster. Sorry, I didn’t mean to rain on your parade, maybe I’m just jealous. I have seen names on books, letters, videos, if you rummage theought anything – names are everywhere. Of in-sync hearts hoping to age as a pair.


What fascinates me most are the young lobsters. Like too-young –to-have-a-girlfriend-young. The allure of ‘illicit’ pursuits has them on shackles but that doesn’t deter them. They’d risk it all for imminent reward. Defy authority and delve in, in spite of being mindful of the ramifications to come. They would cross the seven seas in spite of the caveats that bound if they have to. They would knock on doors in the guise of asking for a book. At times pinch loose change from folk’s coffers to impress their love interests. Risking hidings just to see their faces. Going to church just to grab a sight. To them it’s Us Against The World. We all share inclusivity in this one, so I hope, if you haven’t experienced it yet, SPOILER ALERT, effects may include but aren’t limited to spats with parents, occupied insomnia, long text messages, sweet nothings, long shots, far-fetched promises, knee jerk plans for the future, if intense might involve clandestine nookies, butterflies and ignorance – the charm, being frivolous and just winging it with not a care in the world. The beauty of young novice lovers and the novelty of their universe is impregnable and silly – in a softer sense of the word. We’ve all been there. And at the end of the day, after wilding together, deep into the night they’ll wrap up their call and go…


“Hang up”


“No, you hang up”


This goes on, until the worst happens. Growing up.

4 thoughts on “HANG UP, NO, YOU HANG UP

  1. “or just yank someone else’s lobster” imagine memers actually advise that😂😂😂😂🤦‍♀️ ‘inaivana’ nilikuwa nashangaa what this was ndio nikaload ni swa😂’if it is me, I had been kidnapped.’ heh,that sure huh?😂😂 ‘The trees probably realizing they…’so you have thought of how inanimate objects and other animals react 😂😂so have I! ‘Going to church just to grab a sight.’ seems like the younger me was not spared from ur examples😂😂😂 the ending was so sad💔

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s