“So I met this girl…” This is how great love stories dawn…set to take us through a rollercoaster of emotions making us wish we were in the plot, even just as extras. Everybody loves them a mellow ending-folklores, true stories or movies where it dusks with two dark silhouettes kissing against the orange of the sunset as the camera zooms in/out and writes The End. But that’s no love story, that’s not how endearment is, that’s how we wish it should be – utopian ideology, playing it safe, everybody goes home happy – it’s a win-win. That’s shit (sometimes). So let’s give it a go again. “So I met this girl…” This is how great love stories dawn, or lack thereof – great love tragedies – where it winds with; the piece of wood being large enough to only support Rose and Jack says ‘Promise you’ll survive. That you won’t give up, no matter how hopeless’, Romeo ingesting poison unbeknownst to him that Juliet is still breathing, Cleopatra committing suicide after learning about her lover, Mark Antony’s death or for the villains – the infamous duo Bonnie and Clyde being riddled with 150 or so bullets while on the run. Unlike its contrary, a faultless sad story is more elusive. A meticulous storyline woven together with seamless melancholic tunes that’ll rev the sting in our tear glands. Underneath that gloominess, if you look gingerly, if you squint just right enough you’ll find happiness, because sadness is beautiful and I’m a sucker.
To the hearts I’ve/we’ve broken. Rom-Coms tear me up, I watch them alone where naught will see my teary eyes, not even walls. I don’t want to compromise my ever withering machismo in public, as a descendant of my ancestors I’ve grown with a bias to see frailty in vulnerability and scorn at folk always in their feelings, hi Drake. Ah, what are you bickering about? Ati he/she left you? There’s plenty of fish in the sea, I’d say. That’s why i pulled the plug on that movie we had planned to watch, you were so vexed and the only explanation I could come up with was ‘nimechoka.’ I didn’t make sense to you, I never did. My new dig, up on the fourth floor has a large window I tell you; I’m watching this couple, walk hands glued, just how you liked it and I recalled how I let go of your hand after noticing a familiar face walk towards us, hunked down pretending to tie my laces only to realize I had slip ons. That was the last straw, it was it for you. You never talked about it but the silence was profound. You addressed it in the only ways you knew how – like elbowing my hand when I reached for your waist. And no, I wasn’t embarrassed by you it was me. Later on I left an apology – as a note. I could tell you read it since you highlighted trivial errors and sent it back – Is it color or colour? Your handwriting is so poor and you’re not even a doctor! You commented.
When I said I fell for you I lied. I never fell. I plunged so hard I ricocheted off the ground and back down I’ve been dusting myself since. That for the first time I was so inclined to a person their texts would give me butterflies, heck a zoo. That I liked a person that way was shakening, it was so intense my head voice went ‘umepanicki‘. I did and tried to put it mildly by saying I fell for you. My window is open, trying to ward off the smoke from my failed attempt to cook our favorite meal, gravy liver stew. I swear I did everything right but somehow these onions are off – they never turned golden brown, in a blink they were ashy black and my kitchen (area) was engulfed in smoke. I’m a hypocrite for pretending to enjoy that series, oh how I hated it. I found the analogy of dragons and kingdoms too cliché, I still do, or maybe it was too woke for me, flew right over my head. And I wasn’t trying to be cocky when I said I’m good with my fingers I only meant I type so fast sometimes my brain back tracks. I’m flawed, a fool too? I understand.
So allow me to reintroduce myself. I am [INSERT YOUR NAME HERE]. I am selfish, a jackass, I’m not that great at PDA, I loath Sci-Fi, I love sad stories, I’m scared of vulnerability, good movies make me melt and if you’d let me I’d like to hold your hand and never let go. Sorry I broke your heart, as much as I like tragic endings, innately I still want us to have that moment where our dark frames are silhouetted against the orange of the sunset as the camera zooms in/out because sad endings are beautiful until they’re not. The end.
Yours, [INSERT YOUR NAME HERE]