Colour Me Insecure

“Won’t you for once be an adult!” Tim exclaims.


There’s a lot of grey area in that statement, don’t you think? What does he exactly mean by be an adult? Is it the fact that you always lower your face mask to hear better, or the fact that you call him dead in the night and tell him to flash his toilet to know if he’s home, is it about lying to doctors when they ask about your alcohol consumption or maybe it’s because you still lick your yogurt cans after the content is finished or maybe he’s jealous because you tell hawkers nice things like ‘kesho utakuwa hapa?’ when you can’t afford stuff they’re selling, definitely not.


The last time ‘maturity‘ made a cameo in your life you were pulling some strings to find him a pick up to help him move. That was possibly the last time you two were in cohesion. Days have been having an attitude, they’re moving naggingly slow. All you want is Friday, is it too much to ask?


As you were coming out of Manhattan Chips and Fries you saw a young couple holding hands, reminiscence of your relationship in its heydays, you felt like axing their hands apart. ‘Get a room’ you’d think. You are not bitter, it’s hard watching your relationship morph into a give-give transaction where you feel victim. The streets have heavily benefited from you and Tim’s slump for talk, legend has it that the tides have been rough, hell, it’s been one year since he last sent flowers to your office. You’re this close to losing it you swear. In fact you’ve been binging Netflix’s You and figured it isn’t hard to get rid of a body afterall.


A feeling of disquietness has been stalking you ever since he moved to Juja, suddenly that town doesn’t seem chaste to you. Grapevine says that place bleeds immorality, you don’t trust his ability to make sound decisions, no? It’s just that you feel he’d make better decisions if he resided elsewhere, like moving in with you in Rongai. A fortnight ago he took back the spare keys he’d given you saying he’ll make a copy and hand them back. He hasn’t, not yet, so you eerrr, feel like he’s trying to limit your access but maybe you’re overthinking again.


Some girl dropped heart emojis on Tim’s new IG picture, you stalked her to the bones trying to figure out how much of a hiding she deserves, she’s an Aries like you, go getters, so you summoned your inner peace and let her off with a stern warning.

After a field excursion to Thika last Thursday, you decided to make an impromptu visit at his place, it was 8.73 PM, of course he would be in. You got to his door but couldn’t knock(I’ll tell you why in a second) so you recited the peace mantra you’ve been reading, took a breather, turned back and left. Isn’t that growing up?


Senje, Tim’s next door neighbor. An eccentric woman who belly dances for a living has been hell-bent on hanging her knickers next to Tim’s trousers and from the way her body is set up, it would take the stongest of men to resist her charm and Tim just doesn’t cut the list. This is the fourth time it has happened(the hanging), next time you’ll paper spray them, you promise to come through so slick she won’t know what hit her.


So, before I grow up, whose shoes were at your door step at around 8.73 PM ON TUESDAY!?” you say showing him a picture.

Translation box

‘kesho utakuwa hapa’ – Will you be here tomorrow?

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10 thoughts on “Colour Me Insecure

  1. You have a dope sense of humor πŸ˜… Insecurities well defined! And now, Sauti Sol’s insecure just started playing in my head. It’s a great piece!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. As always looooove the pictures!!! (Interesting that you used ‘Insecure’ pictures for this) I love how you hightlight insecurities. I have been that girl before.

    Liked by 1 person

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